Changing Your Perspective With Empathy: Worth The Work?

Waiting can be stressful. Medical appointments, job interviews, traffic jams all feel like a waste of our valuable time. Often, even if we are not in a self-centred mindset, we get offended by these delays and take them personally.

The biggest culprit: the doctor’s office. I found myself in that situation last month for what was supposed to be a minor procedure. I was called into the room 20 minutes after my scheduled appointment time, but I had planned for that with a later work schedule. While waiting in the procedure room for my doctor, my mindless scrolling was interrupted by my doctor’s cell phone going off. “Why isn’t that on silent?” I thought to myself, shrugging it off and moving my attention back to my phone.

When all four feet nine inches of my doctor shuffled in wearing her PPE and bright pink scrubs, I let her know her phone had gone off twice, and I didn’t mind if she checked it. She thanked me and did so. It turns out the residents at the hospital where she delivers babies tried to call her twice. They had questions about some of her patients they were taking care of that day. As she got off the phone, she laughed, apologized and jumped into my appointment as if nothing had happened. We were 40 minutes past my original appointment time at this point.

To say the clinic she works out of is chaotic is an understatement; when her phone wasn’t going off during the procedure, the pharmacist, medical assistants or other doctors were knocking on the door to ask her questions. I couldn’t help but laugh as this woman and the medical assistant helping her with my procedure. They kept screaming at the door, “I/SHE AM/IS IN A PROCEDURE!” I spent my time chatting with the assistant and taking photos of what my doctor was doing while cutting me open (this stuff fascinates me).

About two-thirds of the way through, I started sweating a lot. My doctor told me I could take off my sweater and mask, and I did. A few minutes later, I began to feel nauseous and dizzy. Expressing this, my doctor looked at me and went, “Oh yeah, you have no colour in your face. We can take a break if you need it.”

At that moment, my mind went to her patients I had seen come into the clinic before I even made it into the room. They had appointments scheduled for after mine was slotted, and I felt guilty. I told her I was alright, and she pressed on. I focused on my breathing but continued to feel my temperature rise, and then everything went blank. I had fainted.

I woke up with my doctor and the assistant bent over me, asking if I was okay. Embarrassed, I said I was fine before drinking some water the assistant handed me. I apologized (probably too many times) as my doctor stood by, ensuring my blood pressure and colour returned to normal before continuing, reassuring me that it was okay. At that moment, even though she had a chaotic day filled with patients who had just delivered children and others waiting for her in the clinic, she was present with me, and although guilt was still poking the back of my brain, I was thankful.

After we wrapped up and I was moved to a different room to wait for my ride (I wasn’t about to drive home after that), I couldn’t help but be thankful that she had gone above and beyond despite it pushing her even further behind in her busy day. When my ride had arrived, the patient who had an appointment booked after mine was walking to her vehicle. In my mind, I thanked her for her patience, hoping that waiting so for her quick appointment didn’t add stress to her day.

This experience made me think of all the times I was the one waiting for an hour or more past my appointment time, or for a phone call that was supposed to happen 20 minutes ago, hoping they didn’t take another 20 to call because I had things to do. In these cases, we’re quick to think “I’m not a priority to this person,” or “They’re so inconsiderate!” and in some cases, that might be true, but more often, life just happens, as in the case of what happened to me.

So how can we help alleviate stress over things that aren’t in our control?

A changed perspective and setting ourselves up, so when these situations arise, we can see them as an opportunity instead of a setback. Sure, it may be a slight bit of inconvenience to you, but having some empathy for people who might be running behind, you have no idea what the cause of that might be. We all could be a little more considerate and understanding to our fellow humans, right?

If you’re not sure what to do while waiting, here are some quick tips for whiling away the time (that doesn’t include mindlessly scrolling through social media).